Should I give feedback to someone who has just given me feedback?
No, because that might lead to a long and winding discussion, so next time that person will probably decide it’s better to say nothing.
What should I do if I disagree with the feedback, be it good or bad? Should I object?
Even if the feedback is, in your opinion, 99 percent wrong, you should still thank the person and ask them to give you some time. Then, try to think about whether there was at least 1 percent of truth in it. Maybe the other person saw something you didn’t?
When you feel calmer, ask them to specify: “I thought about what you said, and I want to understand it better. What in my behaviour made you think so? Is it something I did once, or repeatedly?” Then patiently listen again.
Of course, you may come across malicious people who tell lies about you. Perhaps that person was in a bad mood, perhaps they wanted to offend you, or maybe just spoke without thinking… You can always check by asking others.
Most importantly, know that it is you – and no one else – who has to decide what to do next. To respond or not. To believe or not. To change – or not.
What should I do it the feedback exceeds expectations? That is, if I get undeserved praise and compliments? That happens too.
Yes, it does. The rules are the same. Thank them. If you feel uncomfortable and don’t want to listen, ALWAYS ask for some time. For example: “Thank you for your opinion, it has made me quite emotional, I need some time to think about this.”
When you do think about it, perhaps you will see it contains some truth? Or perhaps you should think about why you find it hard to accept a compliment?